


Of Bets and Repercussions

by Kreyana



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Evil Little Brothers, Humor, June 2007, Lobster, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Slight fluff, crack!fic, revision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kreyana/pseuds/Kreyana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is only one word to properly describe this... </p>
<p>Lobster.</p>
<p> <br/>Or, Edward should know by now to <em>never</em> bet against his little brother. In every experience thus far, things have always tended to go a little bit... sideways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Bets and Repercussions

**Author's Note:**

> Crack!fic with a dash of romance, and a slightly delusional Edward.  
> 　　  
> Now, I just read the few reviews I had for this fic over on fanfic.net, and each and every one of them were amused. Sooo, I decided: why not? I need a story over here. Might as well look into what I have posted already.  
> 　　  
> This is a revised version, but it should be no less amusing! (God, I _hope_ I don’t ruin it...)  
>  　　  
> 　　Edward, 17; Alphonse, 16.

* * *

_Edward_  


The look on Edward’s face was, no doubt, the epitome of horrified.

“You can’t be serious...”

“Oh, I am,” Al sounded, looked, and _felt_ far too damn smug.

Ed shook his head, crossed his arms and set his feet very solidly on the ground. Probably would have transmuted his boots to the carpet, if it’d help anything.“I’m not going to do it, Al,” he declared.

“But, Brother, you promised!”

“No I didn’t.”

“You did, too!” Al tried to argue, and Ed exploded with, “LIKE HELL! When did I _ever_ agree to do— _that?!”_

Al jabbed a finger at him. “You promised to do whatever I wanted if you lost, _and you lost!”_

“DAMNIT!” Ed yelled, and then grumbled, “I didn’t think I _could_ lose!” Alphonse was back to being smug, Edward could _feel_ it emanating from him, and that was _on top_ of the arrogant smirk! Little brat. He crossed his arms stubbornly, glowering up (infuriatingly so) at eyes almost identical to his own. “How the Hell was I supposed to know the Bastard is _that good_ at chess?!”

Al let out a long-suffering, _you’re-the-biggest-moron-in-the-world_ , sigh, pointing at the little glass case Mustang had, tucked between two overflowing bookshelves against the far wall. “ _Maybe_ that trophy should have given you some hint...” Ed glared. Al grinned. “No excuses, you _have_ to do it!” Al demanded, as if reading the flying thoughts running through Ed’s mind. _Of course_ Ed would try to find an excuse, _any excuse_ ; hell, he’d take a Call of Duty to the depths of Briggs Mountains, if it would save him!

Maybe the— “ _Nii-san,_ ” Al warned with the sort of threatening tone that only brothers could use, easily thwarting Ed’s plot before it even started.

Ed sighed and cursed. “Fine, whatever! When do I have to do it?”

A finger set against Al’s chin as he hummed thoughtfully. “Mmm, I like tomorrow afternoon.”

Edward blanched. “That soon?!” Al glared, prompting a sound that was very suspiciously similar to an ‘ _eep_ ‘. “Okay! Tomorrow.”

“At the office.”

“AL!”

“Office!”

“FUCK! Fine!” Ed stormed away, fists clenched and trying desperately not to ruin Mustang’s home. Wouldn’t do the wreck the place in a bout of temper, Roy had already explained to him— _quite thoroughly_ —what would happen should he ever do that again.

And Ed certainly didn’t want to be kicked to the dog house.

  


* * *

_Mustang_  


It was a rather pleasant day in Central, Roy thought. The sun was shining, birds were singing—and Edward Elric hadn’t shown up yet. Fullmetal not showing up was always a toss between very good and very bad. If he was off on a mission, it was good, because then Roy had a relative idea of his location. On the other hand, if the blond were expected to hand in a report and had yet to do so... it was generally very bad.

In fact, Edward sometimes scared Roy. For varying reasons.

A commotion in the hallway pulled his attention from the paperwork on his desk. He hadn’t been working, of course, only staring blankly as he daydreamed. About Edward—as usual.

A dark eyebrow lifted as the commotion moved closer to the outer office door—the inner door to Roy’s office was propped open for the moment, because why not? It was a good day, and Fullmetal wasn’t expected to make a fuss. Havoc had just stood when the hall door slammed opened, and in rushed one very flushed Edward Elric, followed closely by one very entertained Alphonse Elric.

Roy blinked.

Better make that one very flushed and _red_ Edward Elric.

The room was deadly silent as the Fullmetal Alchemist stood rigid near the door (conveniently blocked by the younger Elric) with fists clenched and an incredibly vivid show of pure rage and embarrassment staining his face.

Breda was the first to crack. He fell back, chair and all, as he cackled and snorted. Havoc’s toothpick fell out of his mouth as his jaw hung in shock, and Falman spilled his armload of folders all over the floor. Hawkeye stared with wide, shocked eyes, before being the quickest of his subordinates to recover, shaking her head and chuckling lightly. Fuery sputtered, hands slapping over his mouth in a frantic attempt to keep from bursting with laughter, though he visibly shook with the effort.

And Roy mimicked Hawkeye. He stared in shock for a startled moment, before he chuckled loudly. He set his pen down and covered his mouth with one hand, bending over his desk in an attempt to calm down, but he only really succeeded in laughing harder.

Edward was going to kill him, but right now— _it was so worth it._

“I’m so glad SOMEONE is enjoying themselves!” Ed snarled. 

He was dressed from head to toe in a large, red, _lobster suit._

“F-Fullmetal,” Roy attempted after a minute. “What... what—” Roy made the mistake of looking up at Edward, and once again burst with laughter. The blond flushed a darker shade of red and growled, clenching his fists tight enough that Roy thought he might have heard the protesting creak of automail. Roy coughed several times and cleared his throat. “Fullmetal,” he tried again. “What exactly are you doing in that... costume?”

Edward crossed his arms and glared over his shoulder (half turning to be able to do so in the first place) at Al, and ignored the question. “Are you happy now?!”

It was rather odd, but by now the whole lot of them were able to tune into Alphonse’s feelings far better than they would any other person; and right now, the boy was _ecstatic._

Al nodded with an achingly wide grin. “Very.”

“Good!” Ed shoved past the younger (and, again, still taller) Elric and stormed down the hall once again. Laughter and exclamations of shock and surprise erupted from the hallway; and as soon as Ed had left the office, Roy broke down once again.

Al collapsed on the couch, clutching at his own sides as he cackled.

After a good fifteen minutes, the office resettled itself and Roy cleared his throat. “Alphonse.” The younger Elric hopped to his feet and saluted, grinning and radiating amusement. “What was this particular escapade about?”

“You see, sir,” Alphonse bounced on the balls of his feet a little, “I made a bet with Nii-san. In a chess match between you and Nii-san, I bet that he would lose. And if he did lose, he had to do anything I wanted.” Roy smirked as Al grinned wider. He could have sworn an evil little cackle burst shortly beneath the boy’s breath, as well.

“I am rather good at chess,” Roy agreed, nodding.

“You have _three_ contest trophies! And they’re even on display!”

Havoc coughed over an incredulous laugh. “The Boss agreed to a chess match when the General has trophies?”

Again, Al grinned. “Like I said, Nii-san isn’t always that perceptive when it comes to his surroundings.”

Roy chuckled good-naturedly. “Alphonse, you scare me sometimes.” He received a flash of white teeth in reply “Well, that experience was the life of our week. It’s a shame we’ll only have our memories.” The evil glint in Alphonse’s eyes made one of Roy’s eyebrows jump toward his hairline. “Alphonse?”

Innocently, the youngest Elric pulled out a handful of Polaroids and waved them toward Roy. In each, Edward glared furiously, blushing as red as the lobster suit and ready to murder the photographer—there was absolutely no doubt said individual was Al.

“Definitely scare me sometimes,” Roy amended.

  


* * *

  


That night was pleasantly warm as Roy walked to his front door, took out his key and unlocked it. He re-latched the bolt behind him and removed first his boots, then his coat. In his living room, the younger Elric lay on the couch, asleep and guarding the Polaroids with his life. Roy chuckled quietly and slid a blanket over the boy. He watched him for a minute before shaking his head in disbelief and leaving Alphonse to sleep.

Roy smirked as he made a mental note to procure the best photo in the morning.

Up in his room, Roy found all of the lights off and a small form huddled almost completely under the blankets. He ignored it in favor of wandering to his bathroom, where he undressed from his uniform and prepared for bed. When he returned, the form hadn’t moved and Roy thought that, maybe, Edward was asleep. He didn’t blame the blond, after the day the elder Elric had.

But as he climbed under the blankets, the form turned around to glare balefully at him from just above several layers of fabric. Roy smiled gently. “I though you were asleep.”

“The brat is asleep. How could I sleep after today?” Ed replied, muffled.

Roy chuckled and shifted until he was comfortable. “You really should be more perceptive about things, Edward. Especially when a bet is involved.”

Fullmetal glowered at Roy. “It’s your fault for being so damn good at everything.”

“Good at everything, hm,” Roy slipped one hand beneath the covers to find Ed’s, lacing fingers with the blond’s flesh hand. “Not everything, Ed.”

“That’s just what you want us to believe.” An amused sound replied, and Ed squeezed Roy’s hand. “I’ll never live that down.”

“No, I suppose not,” Roy agreed. “Especially with those pictures that Al is guarding down there. But it will eventually become just a fond memory.” Roy smiled and pulled the blanket away from Ed’s face with his free hand, cupping the blond’s cheek. “Did you know, Edward, that your little bet made a lot of people happy today? For many of us, that’s a good thing. I know you’ve certainly made my week.” 

Ed’s lips twitched into the barest little smile that he tried to hide, an embarrassed flush growing over the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, but—”

Roy interrupted him with a light kiss.

“Go to sleep, Edward. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe you’ll think of some way to get back at Alphonse.”

Ed snorted at that, but consented and closed his eyes, lightly resting his automail on Roy’s hip.

“Love you, bastard,” he muttered.

Roy smiled fondly and lightly kissed Ed once more, before relaxing back and closing his eyes for much needed rest after a rather eventful day.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope some of you got a laugh from this!
> 
>  
> 
> (1/19/15) Noticed I forgot something that could possibly be on the vital side of things, so:
> 
> **Disclaimer** : This humble author holds no ownership of any fanworks she provides to the community (the internet) as a whole.


End file.
